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Homicidal Dog Sets Fire to Family Home

Article sponsored by The American Guinea Pig Society

At a time when more people are wondering who they can trust, apparently even man's best friend shouldn't be held above suspicion.

Yesterday, a golden retriever recently rescued from an animal shelter in Wisconsin set fire to his adoptive family's home - an all to common occurrence typically ignored by America's dog-friendly media.

According to police, the very bad dog waited until his master, wife and two small children were asleep before intentionally starting the blaze using several dishtowels he piled atop the stove.

"Flipping the burner on with his paw, thereby igniting the towels and then a curtain beside it, the dog exited the home via a pet door into the yard, where he presumably intended to watch his human benefactors roast alive without so much as a single bark of warning," police spokesman Kevin Newman noted.

Fortunately, the family's smoke detectors alerted them to the inferno, sparing their lives, but many aren't so lucky.

"Every day hundreds of Americans allow potentially homicidal dogs and cats into their homes without knowing a thing about them or even considering a guinea pig," Newman remarked. "They let these strange animals into their lives and then wonder how they end up paralyzed at the bottom of a flight of stairs while thousands of harmless, adorable guinea pigs go unadopted."

"It really boggles the mind," Newman said.

Article sponsored by The American Guinea Pig Society

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