|Home||World||National||Opinion||Local||Entertainment||Home And Garden||Advice||Farts And Giggles|
Fox and Friends' Elisabeth Hasselbeck Reveals Struggle with Anal Leakage
In an interview that aired on her own program "Fox and Friends" this morning, Elisabeth Hasselbeck revealed that she suffers from anal leakage.
In the wake of a flurry of disclosures from other notable news celebrities, including Good Morning America's Robin Roberts' revelations that she is gay and has cancer, 20/20's Elizabeth Vargas's admission that she's an alcoholic, CNN's Zain Vergee’s publication of her battle with psoriasis and Wolf Blitzer's confession of running over a homeless person in the 70s, Hasselbeck, with a quiver in her voice atypical of the 36-year-old personality's usually unflappable demeanor, told the world about her leaky anus.
"After moving my bowels, fecal liquid will drain from my anus for several hours," Hasselbeck told her on-air partner Steve Doocy, "I have lived with this issue in silence for several years, a good portion of which time I have had to maintain a wad of Kleenex between my buttocks."
Symptomatic of a persistent hemorrhoid, Hasselbeck detailed the hardship her malady has caused.
"During my first week at Fox, a brown-stained tissue fell out of the bottom of my pants and I let everyone think it was an intern's," Hasselbeck recounted. "The girl left the building and never came back."
Fox News Medical Expert Marc Siegel commended Hasselbeck for speaking out on her leaking anus.
"Elisabeth's brave honesty has shed new light on the oft-neglected subject of anal leakage, and will hopefully help others whose anuses leak realise that it is nothing to be ashamed of."
Board Certified proctologist David Morgan disagreed.
"If this is nothing to be ashamed of, then what is?" Morgan reasoned. "Especially if you're only talking about it as a cheap tactic for some quick ratings."
|Disturbing New Comic Book Warning Labels Introduced|
|Everybody Wins National Spelling Bee|
|Love Thy Neighbor As Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford|