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NFL Vows to Publicly Embarrass Everyone Jon Gruden Insulted in Emails

As the dust settles in the aftermath of former Raiders Head Coach Jon Gruden's forced resignation in a landslide of racist, anti-gay and misogynistic emails, the NFL has vowed that it will continue to humiliate the subjects of those emails by releasing their contents to the public.

"Mr. Gruden hurt a lot of people with these emails, and its important that we make everyone who might not know that they were hurt know that they were indeed hurt in order for them to be able to heal. This is all about healing. Healing and moving on," NFL Vice President of Media Relations Shawn Duggar remarked.

"For example, its widely known that Mr. Gruden compared DeMaurice Smith's lips to tires and that he called openly gay Rams draftee Michael Sam a 'faggot', but its yet to be published that he called NFL Chief Football Administration Officer Natalie Richmond a 'frumpy horse face' and NFL Referee Association President Tom Mitchell a 'dyke f*****'," Duggar added.

In the past 24 hours, the NFL has published another 300 emails sent from Gruden, including two where he refers to human rights activist Malala Yousafzai as 'fat' and his sister-in-law as 'the ugly one'.

"Let us express our deepest condolences to those whom these isnults were directed. Like Carmen Tellez of Temple Hills, New Jersey, a craft services employee whom Gruden called a 'bearded skank'. Or his personal physician Preston McPherson, who he referred to as a 'hairy transvestite'."

Duggar Reiterated: "Again, we condemn in the harshest terms this kind of language and emphasize that it has no place in the NFL. Terms such as 'Smelly gypsy woman', and 'd*** cheese', which he used to describe Yorba Linda, California yoga instructor Marion Brown and an Alan Swanson of Gainseville, Florida, respectively, will not be tolerated."

 
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