“Sounds great!” you say in a fit of masochistic despair and head back.  There you see Jeff confessing his sins on the phone on the toilet, doing his part to destroy nature and thus expedite the return of Jesus.

“Oh, hi there. Long time no see.  I was starting to think you was the uppity sort that didn’t cotton to our kind.  Say, you're what, sixteen, seventeen years old an' you aint married yet? Cause my cousin Larry aint married no more since last week an' I bet he’d think you was as purty as a free ticket to the fair.  Whadda ya’ say?