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Choose Your Own Adventure: I'm a Goth Chick, Get Me Out of Red State USA!


As your Algebra teacher Mr. Duhammel rambles on about cofactors or some shit, your mind wanders, becomes occupied with more important things - like which band belongs atop your best bands of all time list – Marilyn Manson or Bauhaus.  You try to put it in perspective by asking yourself which you’d go see if both were in town on the same night when you remember where you live and realize that neither band would ever come within five hundred miles of such a crap heap town in the middle of Red State USA.  Suddenly for the fourth time today your world goes dark, as if you’re soul was tumbling down a crumbling precipice into a cold, black, infinite void barren of love from which nothing escapes.

“Totally lame,” you think.


You feel the life being sucked from you - is this the end?  No.  You soon awake with a soft shudder; your eyes open slowly, languidly.  They find the clock on the wall measuring the passage of time, its revolving second hand cruelly mocking you as it demonstrates the fleeting nature and meaninglessness of life.  You stare at this instrument of slavery until the final tick that brings the sound of the class bell tocks off its crooked face.


The school day is over.  This fact, as usual, makes the rest of the sheep in your school happy, but not you.  After all, what’s the use?  What’s to do now?