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Climate Change Skeptic Denies Occurrence of Recent Hurricanes

Climate change skeptic Sallie Balling said today in remarks made to CNN's Wolf Blitzer that neither Hurricane Irma nor Harvey are likely to have occurred.

The author of over one dozen papers questioning the validity of climate change, Balling, who resides in Florida's Ft. Myers area, went on to deny that she has ever owned any outdoor furniture or that she once had a trampoline in her backyard despite reports to the contrary.

"My husband and I are minimalists. We don't believe in furniture," she claimed. "Other than the broken table and the gazebo with the magnolia tree crashed through it, we've never done anything with the yard."

Balling went on to also deny that her family ever had a dog, refuting an assertion made by her own six year-old daughter.

"Olivia must be mistaken. We never had a Rottweiler," Balling said. "And if we did, it wouldn't be unusual that he blew away. Dogs blow away sometimes. That's the natural cycle of things."

It was later reported by a neighbor that it appeared that the Balling's have since decided to purchase a used, damaged trampoline.

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