Thousands of Syrian Refugess Flock to Dick Cheney's House

Scores of Syrian refugees continue to pour onto Dick Cheney's estate in McLean, Virginia, where an estimated 5,000 have already settled in guest houses and improvised camps on its sprawling lawns over the past several days.

Culminating weeks of tireless travel from the Middle East, the exiles' journeys resemble an instinctual migration, many experts say.

"Like schools of wild salmon or the swallows of San Juan Capistrano, these people seem to be following a sixth-sense to the place they identify as their new home," Zoologist Andrew Kramer remarked.

Indeed, when questioned, none of the refugees currently residing on the former Vice President’s property know how they got there.

"I did not know where I was going or how I was to get here. I just kept moving until I am where I am now," one man said.

According to a manager of the opulent property, the refugees have already consumed over one ton of the estate's stores of provisions, including the entire contents of two expansive wine cellars housed there.

"The chickens are coming home to roost," one refugee commented drunkenly. "Cock-a-doodle-doo, bitch."