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Boston Confesses Marathon Bombing a Hoax
The people of Boston confessed to pulling what might go down in history as the most elaborate prank ever played when they revealed that the Boston Marathon bombing was indeed a hoax.
"I knew it!" Zubeidat Tsarnaev cried as Tamerlan and Dzhokhar tiptoed into their mother's kitchen in Dagestan, interrupting a CNN satellite interview with cries of "April Fools!"
"You scoundrels! I knew it! I knew it!" Zubeidat repeated, playfully slapping her laughing sons over the head, "These two. They're too much."
A smirking Boston Mayor Thomas Menino confirmed the conspiratorial role of those who attended the April 15th marathon in addition to the city's other 4 million residents.
"This thing took a lot of work, a lot of planning, and a lot of cooperation from the good people of Boston – especially all of our so-called victims, who I'm so proud of for never letting slip once this whole time. Amazing."
Menino said that the prank was originally planned to last only 5 days, with the reveal coming shortly after the "death" of Tamerlan and "capture" of Dzhokhar, but was extended in response to their mother's skepticism.
"We were going to end this charade right after the boat scene, but then Mrs. Tsarnaev came out saying she didn't believe any of it, so we decided we better leave her on the hook awhile longer – considering all the trouble and expense we'd gone to," Menino said.
Menino indicated that the bombing scene, a pyrotechnic feat pulled off by a Hollywood production company, alone cost nearly $2 million.
Remarked Menino: "It took a little chunk out of the budget, but the look on her face – that was priceless."
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